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Start Again

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Apr. 1st, 2011 | 09:18 am
mood: sleepysleepy

Title: Start Again [Part 3]

Pairing: Kangin/Eeteuk, Kangin/OC, Siwon/OC, minor Siwon/Sooyoung

Genre: Drama, Fluff

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Youngwoon is lost in his relationship with his girlfriend and finds solace in Jungsu's company.

Part 1|Part 2

-

Youngwoon stumbles through the door and throws himself onto the couch with a groan. His eyes are puffy and red and he’s drunk, and he considers it quite a feat that he’s managed to get home in one piece.



He raises his hand up and stares at his reddened knuckles yet again, his eyes wide and disbelieving. Youngwoon spots little specks of blood on his hands, evidence of what had happened just an hour before. He shakes his head violently, as if willing himself to forget what he’d just done, but guilt continues to plague him, and it’s relentless in it’s pursuit.



Soon, he’s crying into his hands and he knows he’ll never forgive himself.



-



“Youngwoon?” A voice rings down from above him, and Youngwoon groans, cracking his eyes open.



“Babe?” He croaks, before sitting up and feeling a wave of dizziness hit him, and he falls back onto the couch again.



She reaches out to shake the other gently, placing a hand to his forehead. “Are you sick?” She asks, concern laced into her voice, and Youngwoon suddenly feels his insides fluttering, even though he feels extremely sick. “Youngwoon?” She asks again, and the other shakes his head.



“Drunk,” He mumbles, grabbing onto a cushion close by and hugging it tight against him.



She shakes her head with a laugh and leaves the couch for a while, coming back a little later with a blanket. “Take this, before you catch a cold. I’ll go down and get you some medicine to get rid of that hangover.”



Youngwoon nods slowly and pulls the blanket close, watching silently as she leaves.



-



“Siwon,” She greets as she enters the drug store, and the man in mention turns to her.



“You know, meeting like this; it really isn’t right.” Siwon says, a concerned frown marring his otherwise perfect features.



She looks up at him with a frown of her own. “But you agreed to meet me here,” She points out, moving around Siwon to get to the pharmacist.



“I’m only here to tell you something. Better now than never.” Siwon mumbles, trailing slowly behind her.



She says something to the pharmacist before turning back to Siwon. “What?”



Siwon sighs and shakes his head. “Not in here.”



She nods and turns back to collect the medicine, paying for it, and walking out. “Now what?” She asks, stuffing her hands in her pockets to shield them from the winter cold.



Pressing his lips together, Siwon looks up at her, an air of hesitance hanging around him. “It’s just that I really can’t do this anymore. This ‘seeing you‘ thing. It’s naïve, and we can’t afford to be like this any longer. I have Sooyoung now, and she’s wonderful, and it kills me inside every time, when I think about what we’re doing.”



She looks at him warily, slowly placing her hands over his. “What are you saying?”



“What I’m saying is,” Siwon says, his expression hardening, “I think we should just stop seeing each other like that. And please, for Youngwoon’s sake, tell him about this.”



Her eyes widen in shock and she grips harder at Siwon’s hands. “Tell Youngwoon?” She stammers, and Siwon nods.



They walk in silence for a while. She’s staring at her shoes and it’s clear to Siwon that she’s nervous. They make it back to her apartment and she’s about to go up when Siwon stops her, grabbing on to her arm tightly.



“Siwon?” She turns around, looking at the other curiously.



Siwon hesitates for a moment, and sighs. “You don’t love him, do you?” He asks, hurt evident in his tone. Siwon doesn’t want to hear the answer - he doesn’t want to know, because he’s pretty sure the answer will probably plague him with guilt for a long time to come. After all, he did introduce Youngwoon to her.



She tenses under Siwon’s grip and a myriad of emotions flash through her eyes. “I…” She murmurs, staring down at her shoes, before pulling away from Siwon and running up the stairs, not even turning back to glance at the other.



-



Youngwoon lets out a deep groan as he slowly wakes up from the alcohol-induced trance, feeling the throbbing pain of a headache as it takes over. Rolling off the couch and falling onto the ground with a thud, Youngwoon hoists himself off the floor clumsily and stares around him, feeling extremely disorientated.



“Bathroom,” He mumbles to himself, before stumbling in the direction of the room in mention, kicking over a few items in his path. It’s a few bruises and cuts later that Youngwoon manages to make his way to his destination, before he hunches over the toilet and empties out the contents of his stomach into it.



After a cold bath, feeling the aftermath of the alcohol fade away, he sighs in relief, and stumbles out of the shower, before catching a glimpse of something red on the clothes he’d discarded on the ground.



Youngwoon’s mind is still hazy, and it takes a while for him to recall the previous night’s happenings.



Suddenly, Youngwoon is stumbling out the door in search of his phone, and finds it a while later, sitting atop a stack of books in the corner of the living room. He speed dials Jungsu, and waits with bated breath.



One ring, two rings, three rings.



Youngwoon is on the verge of tearing his hair out, he needs to know that Jungsu is okay. But Jungsu doesn’t pick up, even after Youngwoon tries the second time, and the third time.



He sinks to the floor, defeated, and extremely bothered, not knowing what to do. Lingering memories of the night before begin to play in Youngwoon’s mind just then, and he watches silently as he sees himself slump onto the ground outside Jungsu’s apartment, breaking out into silent tears, staring helplessly at his hand and the blood - Jungsu’s blood.



It is then that he discovers a box lying underneath the couch right next to him. It’s small, just about the size of a shoebox, and Youngwoon fails to recall ever putting a shoebox under there. Frowning, he fishes it out and places it on his lap. The box is neither light nor heavy, and Youngwoon studies it, finding the letters ‘S.W.’ written immaculately in black on the sides of the box.



He decides to open it a little while later, and his eyes widen as his gaze lands on the contents that lay within the box.



She loves Siwon, Youngwoon. She’s using you to remember him with.



Suddenly, Jungsu’s words from the night before aren’t lies any longer, and Youngwoon feels his blood run cold.



-



“Youngwoon,” Comes a voice from the front door, and Youngwoon is woken from his reverie. Tearing his gaze away from the box in his lap, he slowly diverts his attention to the girl that stands at the door, his eyes clouded over with a layer of betrayal and hurt.



His gaze follows her into the living room and she’s smiling, clutching on to a paper bag. “Youngwoon? What’s wrong?” She asks, and Youngwoon wonders whether the concern dripping from her voice is sincere.



He fails to give an answer, only watching as he moves into the kitchen, the paper bag still clutched tightly in her hands.



“Youngwoon, I got some medicine to help you with your hangover, I’ll bring it to you in a while!” She calls from the kitchen, and Youngwoon’s brows furrow.



Slowly, Youngwoon gets up, still holding onto the box, and moves into the room.



“Babe,” Youngwoon starts.



“Hmm?” She replies, her back still facing Youngwoon.



He holds the box up and narrows his eyes slightly. “What’s this?”



When she turns around, Youngwoon reads the shock on her face almost immediately, and before he knows it, she’s crying, tugging at him, begging him not to leave.



“This,” Youngwoon says, picking up one of the numerous photos in the box; it's a photo of her and Siwon, back when they were dating. “Is this what you’ve been looking at whenever you’re crying?” Youngwoon finds it almost hard to believe, and he doesn’t understand why, why she’s kept this a secret from him for a whole year.



“Youngwoon, I’m sorry,” She wails, and it’s a pitiful sight. It breaks Youngwoon’s heart, because he knows he loves her, and he forces himself to look away.



There’s still a question left unanswered though, and both of them feel it hanging in the air. Steeling his heart, knowing he needs affirmation of Jungsu’s words, Youngwoon breaks the question both of them have been dreading to hear.



“You don’t love me, do you?”



It’s quiet and broken, and Youngwoon’s hardened features have turned timid and fragile, his eyes shimmering over with hurt.



“Youngwoon,” She whispers, reaching out to him, her eyes huge and pleading.



Wrenching his arm away and out of her reach, Youngwoon flashes her a glare. “Answer me.”



The room is engulfed in a tense blanket of silence, broken only by her sobs and Youngwoon’s heavy breathing.



They stay that way for a while; until she lifts her head up to meet Youngwoon’s hard stare with her own tear-filled ones. They’re filled with remorse, and when Youngwoon notices this, his features soften slightly.



“I’m sorry Youngwoon,” She whispers, and that’s all the answer Youngwoon needs, before he’s running out the door and down the staircase, back to where he’d been the night before.



-



“Jungsu!” Youngwoon cries, hammering his fist against Jungsu’s front door. He doesn’t know how long he’s spending out there in the hallways, he doesn’t care how much attention he’s garnering. The only thing that matters now is Jungsu. Youngwoon thinks.



It’s a while later that the door begins to creak open, and Youngwoon sees Jungsu through the crack in the door.



“Hyung?” He says, wanting to push the door open and pull the other into his arms, but holding back, when he spots a warning flash in the others’ eyes. He doesn’t blame the other though. He understands that it’s his fault. “Hyung, I’m sorry,” Youngwoon whispers, looking up at his elder.



“Why are you here?” The other asks, his voice hoarse from a throat cried raw.



“It’s over, hyung, I ended things with her.” Youngwoon mumbles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “It’s – I’m sorry I didn’t believe you earlier on, hyung.”



The door opens a little more, revealing more of Jungsu’s face. “Why? Why did you do that?” Jungsu asks, looking at Youngwoon in shock. “You love her!”



“But she doesn’t love me. It’s better this way, isn’t it?” Youngwoon whispers, flashing Jungsu a broken smile.



All of a sudden, he’s being swept into Jungsu’s arms, and Jungsu sounds more upset than ever.



“Is it my fault?” Jungsu asks, “I’m sorry, Youngwoon.” His voice is thick with tears and guilt, and Youngwoon is at a loss.



“Hyung,” he starts, pulling away slightly from the other, “It’s not your fault, and it’s never been your fault.”



“But I-”



“You did nothing wrong, hyung. You’ve done the complete opposite,” Youngwoon says, trying his best to assure Jungsu. He pulls further back and smiles at him, before the light catches something, and Youngwoon’s smile dissipates in a flash.



There’s a small bandage that runs across the width of Jungsu’s left cheek, and Youngwoon lifts his hand up to run the pad of his thumb across it.



“Don’t,” Jungsu says warningly, flinching away from his touch.



Youngwoon stares directly into his eyes, and notices a hint of apprehension glinting in them, and he knows. “Hyung, did I cause this?”



Jungsu refuses to reply, and instead moves deeper into the living room, and it’s then Youngwoon notices Jungsu’s limp.



“Hyung, I’m sorry,” Youngwoon says, and Jungsu hears the honest sincerity in his voice.



Turning around to face the other, Jungsu smiles reassuringly. “It was my fault to begin with. Had I not told you that, you wouldn’t have had gotten angry.”



Youngwoon shakes his head stubbornly though, and makes his way closer to his elder, slowly running his thumb along the bandage, and this time, the other allows him to. “Hyung, are those stitches?”



Slowly, Jungsu nods.



“Will they scar?”



Not as much as the scars I’ve caused you, Jungsu thinks, looking at the other apologetically. He shakes his head slightly and smiles.



Suddenly, Jungsu spots the earrings that Youngwoon carries on his ears. “Are those mine?” He asks, gesturing to Youngwoon’s lobes.



“These?” Youngwoon ask, playing with the earrings. “I thought she’d given them to me for a birthday present.”



Jungsu looks at them curiously. “I bought you the exact same pair and I left them at your place when I overheard your girlfriend.”



“Is that when you heard…?” Youngwoon asks, his voice trailing off.



Jungsu nods stiffly.



“Then she’s a lying bitch,” Youngwoon murmurs, suddenly feeling much better about what had happened earlier that morning. He lets out a small chuckle, which has Jungsu laughing slightly as well, bringing the atmosphere in the room up a notch.



They share a mutual silence for a while, and Youngwoon runs his thumb over the bandage yet again, before dropping his hands limply to his sides.



It is then, that Youngwoon recalls all his memories of Jungsu, both happy and sad. And it is then, that Youngwoon realizes that it’s been Jungsu all along. Jungsu helping him out, Jungsu studying with him, Jungsu cheering him up, Jungsu cooking for him, Jungsu consoling him. And it makes him wonder.



“Jungsu hyung,” Youngwoon asks after a while, looking up at the other hesitantly.



Jungsu snaps his head up and stares at him, a silent question in his eyes.



“Hyung, I don’t know whether I’m ready yet, but I think I should move on.”



“Already, Youngwoon? You’ve just ended a one year relationship!” Jungsu exclaims, looking extremely worried for the other.



“I know it’s fast, and usually, in normal situations, I wouldn’t do this,” Youngwoon says, beginning to feel his palms sweat. “But this will never qualify as usual,” Youngwoon says, a smile plastered onto his face. “And you’re definitely not normal, so I was wondering," He lifts his hands up and slowly engulfs Jungsu's hands in his larger ones. "if you’d be willing to be my other half so I can move on?”



Suddenly, Jungsu’s eyes are sparkling, and Youngwoon has known him long enough to understand the shimmer in them.



Smiling broadly, Youngwoon takes him into his arms and hold him tight, and realizes that Jungsu fills up that gap in his heart perfectly; the gap that she’d failed to fill.



And it’s then that Youngwoon realizes, it’s been Jungsu all along.


-end-



Note: Sorry this took so long. :/ I found myself really busy the entire week, and this is the only time I have free, so here's the last part of my second completed mini-series! 8D 

So, this part isn't written very well, I might just rewrite this chapter and put it up again. Or I could do something else. I'm not really sure yet. But, I'll only be able to update about a week from now, cos I've got a camp to go for. D: I hate camps

Well, despite the fact that it sounds as if a drunkard has been writing this, I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter, thanks for reading and take care~! ^^By the way, has anyone had any problems accessing livejournal, or is it just me and lj hates me?

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Comments {23}

vivien

(no subject)

from: turnersyndrome
date: Apr. 1st, 2011 02:49 am (UTC)
Link

/dances on the spot

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vivien

(no subject)

from: turnersyndrome
date: Apr. 2nd, 2011 12:47 am (UTC)
Link

yay finally you got rid of that OC. phew~ good riddance

LJ HATES YOU

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 4th, 2011 11:42 pm (UTC)
Link

THEY LET US USE PHONES IN CAMP *is happy*

I'm glad you like that the OC's gone. :D

And yes, I love you too. :)

Thanks for reading~! 8D

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Sook Kwan Loong

(no subject)

from: Sook Kwan Loong
date: Apr. 1st, 2011 04:12 am (UTC)
Link

HELLO! epiphanies are so fun arent they? :D at least siwon had the guts to cut all ties. that girl.. seriously *shakes head*

thanks for the update! and i hope the camp is alright~ i hate camps too D:

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:26 pm (UTC)
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HELLO! :D

I'm happy you dislike the girl. :]

Thanks for reading as well! :D /gives big hug

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teuktastic

(no subject)

from: teuktastic
date: Apr. 1st, 2011 08:15 am (UTC)
Link

Thanks for updating although you are buzy *hugs*
Well I enjoyed reading this chapter, you end it nicely maybe it seems like a little bit rushed but it still nice. I'm happy as long as Kangteuk got their happy ending. Have I told you that I love your writing? <333
I hope you enjoy your camp ^^

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:28 pm (UTC)
Link

Yeah, I do agree that it's rushed at the end, but I'll do my best to make it up to you guys! ^^

You do? :] *glomps* Thank you~!

And thanks again for reading! :D

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niki_zgz

(no subject)

from: niki_zgz
date: Apr. 1st, 2011 01:11 pm (UTC)
Link

awww ♥

I like that that girl ended alone *muahaha* she deserved it!! :D


(I think Livejournal has been having some problems, It was a little frustating beceause none page was woriking!! but finally I think they've fixed it)

good luck with your camp!!

(and sorry about my english ^^U)

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:34 pm (UTC)
Link

YAY~ :D She did, didn't she? /evil smile

I know right? All the pages were all like 'I DON'T WANNA LOAD' in my face, and I felt like smashing my head against the keyboard. D:

Thanks~!:D And I'll thank you again for reading! :)

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Ashley Dillon

(no subject)

from: dillon45
date: Apr. 1st, 2011 02:36 pm (UTC)
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YAAAAYYYYY KANGTEUK!

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:35 pm (UTC)
Link

YAAAAYYYYY THANKS FOR READING~! 8D

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succv

(no subject)

from: succv
date: Apr. 2nd, 2011 03:35 am (UTC)
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AHH UPDATE!!
FINALLY THEY TOGETHER..

i rly need this happy ending kangteuk~~
i've been down lately TT
this happy kangteuk made me go :)

can i ask for sequel?? *puppy eyes*

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:38 pm (UTC)
Link

I hope you're feeling better! Here, I'll give you a cookie. :D

And I'll be more than happy to write a sequel. :] Just give me some time, and I guess it should be up!

Thanks for reading~! :D

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˗ˏˋ hannah ˎˊ˗

(no subject)

from: kingheechul
date: Apr. 2nd, 2011 09:07 am (UTC)
Link

this is all sorts of amazing! it's a good thing you kept the girl nameless or else..or else. can you like make an epilogue or something? i'm just really curious as to what happened to the girl and how their relationship will progress. ^^

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:45 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you! :D And I'll try to get the epilogue up as soon as I can. :]

Thanks for reading! :)

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(no subject)

from: viridian_blue5
date: Apr. 3rd, 2011 09:57 am (UTC)
Link

You write beautifully, you know that? :D Thanks so much for giving KangTeuk a happy ending~ ^^

Thanks for writing again! :D *hands over cookies*

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:47 pm (UTC)
Link

Thank you~! ^^ /gives more cookies

And thank you again for reading! :D

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neverfallful

(no subject)

from: neverfallful
date: Apr. 3rd, 2011 01:44 pm (UTC)
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I think the ending was a bit rushed? - but finally that OC is out of the picture, and Kangin and leeteuk is together! :D so it's alright :b

A camp? - sounds fun! :D
I love camps, there's always a ton of things to do! especially if your there with friends or family :D

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:50 pm (UTC)
Link

Yeah, the ending was rushed, wasn't it? I'll try to write an epilogue and get it up soon to make it up to you guys. :D

Well, camps like those are extremely fun, but the one I went for was chock full of people I have never met before. :/ School camps. *shakes head* But this was better than the rest. :)

Thanks for reading~! :D

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neverfallful

(no subject)

from: neverfallful
date: Apr. 9th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
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Yay an epilogue! :D will look forward to that then! :D

Oh, it was a school camp? - those are fun too xD if you go with your class that is.. but seems like you didn't - since you didn't know anyone? but it's a good thing that it was better than others you've been to :D

Your so very welcome - thanks for sharing! :D

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yukichi_1004

(no subject)

from: yukichi_1004
date: Apr. 6th, 2011 02:38 am (UTC)
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uilksfm

KangTeuk <3 <3<3<3

i think the reason LJ is acting weird is coz of something like this :http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denial-of-service_attack

...but i haven't gotten any problems (maybe i haven't been using LJ too frequently.)

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honey_world

(no subject)

from: honey_world
date: Apr. 7th, 2011 06:52 pm (UTC)
Link

I'm glad you liked it! :D

I read through that, and I couldn't understand half the jargon they used. O.O But for you even knowing things like these.. *bows down to you*

Thanks for reading~! ^^

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Natalia Isabel

(no subject)

from: isabel33
date: Jul. 5th, 2011 02:52 am (UTC)
Link

yaay! he noticed he loves jungsu ^^ so happy
i love it. thanks for sharing and writting

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